Photographing God
So just a couple of hours ago I attended the Sunway Monash Christian Fellowship for the last time as an official 'active' student member (I say official active student member because there's always this thing about how once a member, forever a member. Like how we treat Peter. Or maybe it's a distinction for him only and not for me. Perhaps I'm permanently erased from the books. No matter. I am perasan.) and I was the photographer for the day, for the last time.
Now I am waiting for Vincent to copy the photos and burn a set for me. While waiting, let me try to write my first post-CF thing.
*
I described jokingly that life in CF was (notice I am using the term 'was') like a T.V. series. A good T.V. series. Spent 4 years in Monash, spent 4 years in CF.
Season1 I bumbled and stumbled into CF
Seasons 2 and 3 was the most humbling years of my life cos I had to work under a womannn, Susie. It wasn't that bad. She was okay. It's just the speed in which she eats. She makes the entire CF waits for her. Okay. I just had to insult her. I wrote cell-notes every other week, and I kept the wolves off the women. I think.
Season 4 was my retirement year. Here I must mention Susanna again, just so I don't feel like the only old person left in CF.
I still did some odd stuff here and there. And quite frankly, I had to keep the wolves off the women again. It's really not the only thing I've ever done well for Cf, really. But it's a thing anyway.
*
So today was the last day of CF for me. The series 'finale', since I'm on the TV series theme.
*
Today I spent a good amount of time taking pictures when people were praising and worshipping God. And I enjoyed that tremendously. The lifted hands. The wincing (in a good way) expressions. The passionate singing. For once I thick-skinned myself (I'm not in the habit of photographing worship sessions cos I always feel the flash and clicking is a bad distraction, plus worship is a rather personal/private matter to me) and snapped people during the songs.
I told myself that I want to take a picture that when people look at it, they can see worship. No need for further explanation.
I wanted to photograph God.
Now I doubt that out of the 200+ or so photos actually contains a picture of God's tangible face or a tangible God putting his arm around Liang when he was posing or anything of that sort. And I'm not sure I managed to take a picture that represent the most ardent worship in a sublime way.
But truly, just by pressing the lens at people's faces. focusing fo the clearest possible view, I took a good look at many different people... Young and old, fat and thin, sock-like and shoe-like. dory-like and otherwise, I took a picture, or two/or more, of the Big Guy.
My 4 years in CF flashed along, the note-taking, mahjong paper scrawling, Michael Thai insulting, gluttoning (of sorts), dissent management, picture taking, camp pranks, love stories, monkey attacks, poster pinning, raised voices, gossip drenching, public singing/embarassment, cell discussions, wolf chasing, so on and so forth. bla bla bla.
Good memories. Good lessons. But then, nothing mattered. Not in the sense that we imagine it anyway. God was there, and that was all I cared for.
And that was sublime.
It'll just be photographs to others, and that's what it should be. But there it was, while I was taking pictures, God taught me one last lesson for my time in CF:
That He is undeniably real, in every possible circumstance.
Forever.
And ever.
Whether I feel like it or not.
And that's my series finale.
Now I am waiting for Vincent to copy the photos and burn a set for me. While waiting, let me try to write my first post-CF thing.
*
I described jokingly that life in CF was (notice I am using the term 'was') like a T.V. series. A good T.V. series. Spent 4 years in Monash, spent 4 years in CF.
Season1 I bumbled and stumbled into CF
Seasons 2 and 3 was the most humbling years of my life cos I had to work under a womannn, Susie. It wasn't that bad. She was okay. It's just the speed in which she eats. She makes the entire CF waits for her. Okay. I just had to insult her. I wrote cell-notes every other week, and I kept the wolves off the women. I think.
Season 4 was my retirement year. Here I must mention Susanna again, just so I don't feel like the only old person left in CF.
I still did some odd stuff here and there. And quite frankly, I had to keep the wolves off the women again. It's really not the only thing I've ever done well for Cf, really. But it's a thing anyway.
*
So today was the last day of CF for me. The series 'finale', since I'm on the TV series theme.
*
Today I spent a good amount of time taking pictures when people were praising and worshipping God. And I enjoyed that tremendously. The lifted hands. The wincing (in a good way) expressions. The passionate singing. For once I thick-skinned myself (I'm not in the habit of photographing worship sessions cos I always feel the flash and clicking is a bad distraction, plus worship is a rather personal/private matter to me) and snapped people during the songs.
I told myself that I want to take a picture that when people look at it, they can see worship. No need for further explanation.
I wanted to photograph God.
Now I doubt that out of the 200+ or so photos actually contains a picture of God's tangible face or a tangible God putting his arm around Liang when he was posing or anything of that sort. And I'm not sure I managed to take a picture that represent the most ardent worship in a sublime way.
But truly, just by pressing the lens at people's faces. focusing fo the clearest possible view, I took a good look at many different people... Young and old, fat and thin, sock-like and shoe-like. dory-like and otherwise, I took a picture, or two/or more, of the Big Guy.
My 4 years in CF flashed along, the note-taking, mahjong paper scrawling, Michael Thai insulting, gluttoning (of sorts), dissent management, picture taking, camp pranks, love stories, monkey attacks, poster pinning, raised voices, gossip drenching, public singing/embarassment, cell discussions, wolf chasing, so on and so forth. bla bla bla.
Good memories. Good lessons. But then, nothing mattered. Not in the sense that we imagine it anyway. God was there, and that was all I cared for.
And that was sublime.
It'll just be photographs to others, and that's what it should be. But there it was, while I was taking pictures, God taught me one last lesson for my time in CF:
That He is undeniably real, in every possible circumstance.
Forever.
And ever.
Whether I feel like it or not.
And that's my series finale.
2 Comments:
4 years... It didn't really feel like that long, but it has been. *sigh* Yeah, we ARE old in CF eh?
A really nice post you have here. & aiyo, you're making me feel that slight tinge of melancholy well up. Especially when I read your "My 4 years in CF flashed along..." para.
You know...I'll always remember these things... all those numerous bursts of laughter over jokes cracked during committee meetings. & all those many meals the committee used to have together after that. Peter's antics. Your favourite line. Michael's engineer jokes. That Gospill thingy he gave us. Li Yit doing his Favourite Friend thing. Me, Rebecca & Hsien Huey yakking in our bedroom af the end of a day at CF committee retreat. Rawang.The durians. The flies. The funny PS2 game that Hsien Huey & I played so badly. I guess the list goes on...
Well, it's been an honour serving in CF with you. I'm typing it here as a comment on your blog so that I can just express it without having you say something to my face that's cheesy or lame to combat it :)
Now, I better end off my comment before it ends up becoming longer than your post! Eheh.
sob!!! i hate finals!!!! :( it means the adventure has come to an end.thank God for letting us in it tho.
but there ARE specials and cameo appearences...!!!
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