Short Story:: Gods of Many Things

And the gods of this land laughed when I finished reading a book about gods in America.

“And so you believe that God raised Christ from the dead at his own right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come; and has put everything under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him that fills all in all?”

That was quite a mouthful, I thought to myself as I heard that voice speak into my head. I wasn’t quite sure which colorful character was it that was speaking to me, but it was probably either the god of paper, god of tables, or the god of ladders.

“Don’t confuse me with the gods of major superstitions, my friend.”

Then what are you? A god of minor superstitions? I wasn’t aware at the time what the difference between major and minor superstitions was. Superstitions were superstitions. I once wore a Peanuts T-shirt for every exam that I had because I believed that with the T-shirt on, my exam would be peanuts to do. So far it has the track record of scoring very well for every paper. It’s trivial, but it’s still superstition. It would not have caused a worldwide following and worship of Charlie Brown and that dog, but it was still superstition. No different than believing that one would die of bad luck if he or she pointed his or her legs at the altar of smoke that clouded the vision of the painted eyes of the portrait of ancestors and semi-fictional gods.

“Your Snoopy t-shirt is what one would call a minor superstition, yes. I am not minor. I’m subtle. I am the little belief that if one studies too many hours, he would do very well in his exams. That sort of thing.”

From that point onwards I found myself conversing with this talkative god.

So you’re the one who package innocent lies to steal hours from unknowing people.

“Indeed so, I am the god of examinations. I am the biggest lie youths face today.”

Yes, you are. I flunked papers and was chastised for it. I was punished for not believing in the lie that if I took 5 hours of classes a day and another 2 hours of tuition above that every day (which would total to about 35 – 40 hours of studying a week) I would do very well for my papers.

“Not exactly. You were punished for trusting the god of sunlight dreams.”

I didn’t know it was wrong to daydream. Now I would be careful.

“You’re slow, boy. It’s not wrong to daydream. But you fell into the lie that daydreams are your food for life. Just like how you know studying isn’t a lie until you believe in my… persuasions that you can never study enough.”

True. So what’s in it for you?

“The whole deal about gods is worship. That’s why Lucifer fell. He wanted to be worshipped. That’s the whole gist of the book you just read, the need for gods to be worshipped.”

Aha. Of course. And?

“The sacrifice I cherish most from people is their time. Any hour spent as waste is incense to my nose, energy for my soul, and strength for my cause.”

Don’t you think the gods of computers and televisions want incense of hours as well? They seem to profit more than you do.

“No, they don’t. As you have cleverly calculated yourself. The best of the lot study between thirty to forty hours a week, sometimes more. That’s easily a quarter of all the available hours in a week. People sleep properly for maybe about another quarter. The rest of the gods can wrestle over the other fifty percent. I’m happy with my quarter. That’s why I’m the god of subtle superstition. No one audits me.”

How is it that you’re pleased with their “worship” when they do not even know it’s you they’re worshipping?

“They’ll know when they go to hell.”

People don’t go to hell for being studious, even if it’s being stupidly hardworking.

“Then they’ll know when they realize how much they’ve left out.”

Only you forget that for some, there is such a thing called redemption.

“Redemption does not exist. It is also a lie. Religion is a lie. The god, the almighty father that you believe in –yes, notice I am speaking his name without capital letters and glorious emphasis- is also a superstition. Salvation is a superstition. Only one person in your bible has been promised directly and straightforwardly a place in paradise. That’s the criminal in Luke. You were reminded of that fact while reading your novel. It was there as well. It’s one of your favorite bible stories, isn’t it? No one knows for sure if your king of kings would really greet you with a feast of joy when you die in his name.”

I do not deny what you have just said. That is all possible. But even the weakest assurance I have in the Prince of Peace carries more value than the most promising promises and most seductive charms you can ever present in your eternity. Because I know for sure your words are lies. While at least, for my King of Kings, there is a certain possibility that I’m right, and that He just might keep His promise. If you were me, you’d know where I’m coming from.

“Then it is truth that you speak. And if all that I speak is a lie, then I must be lying to you now.”

The only thing that amazes me about demons-

"Gods."

gods, then, without the capital “G”. The only thing that amazes me about gods like yourself is your ability to remain loyal to Lucifer. If all of you are liars of all things, wouldn’t your oath of loyalty toward him be a lie too?

“We are bound to him, eternally.”

Now that’s a lie too. Why don’t you lie to Lucifer now, turn your back on him, cease to be a god, and return as an angel for the Lord. I am fairly certain that the Almighty Father is a God of mercy and redemption. Those are part of what salvation is built upon. Come back to the Father, god of examinations.

“I cannot. I have pledged my allegiance to the devil, and must serve him eternally, even if that means-“

Suffering in fire and brimstone for all eternity after the end.

“Yes.”

I could hear a chill in his voice as the god of examination answered that.

So there is, unbelievably, capacity for you to tell the truth, sometimes.

“Yes.”

So tell me, is salvation a superstition? Remember, if you cannot lie at the expense of Lucifer, then surely you cannot lie at the expense of He who cast Lucifer from the heavens.

“I will say no more on the matter.”

Your loyalty to the devil is tested and proven, as is your faithfulness in acknowledging my faith. So tell me, what of your lies are lies?

“I am only a god so long as I am made a god. People will only become stupid when they crawl beneath a table if that is so what they choose to believe. People will only die after walking beneath the ladder if that is so what they choose to believe. People will only lose the capability to do math if they eat fish eggs if that is what they so choose to believe. People will only have more babies if children jump on their beds during their weddings if that is what they believe. People will score 99.5 instead of 99.4 after an additional 25 hours of studies if that is what they want to believe. By making gods out of demons, people lose the vision within themselves to see miracles, for miracles, like superstitions, require belief.”

So superstition blinds us all from miracles... I thank you for your honesty.

I understand that people will always have to choose if they have to sacrifice their hours to you, consciously or unconsciously. But I hope, dear god of examination, that at last your confidence is broken, your devilish integrity questionable, and your security broken.

“You have your own truths, and lies, to tell. Have no affair with my business, and I will not have any with yours. Go your own way, human.”

We shall see.

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What do you know, I wrote something. It's a little preachy, but oh well. It's inspired through and through by American Gods, the Neil Gaiman book I just read a few hours back about gods and demons.

Hope you enjoyed it.