Rocktopia

I was looking through some of the stuff I scribbled when I was in secondary school. I wrote quite a bit of stuff, mostly nonsense and doodles to kill time and gratify my lonesome behavior. Anyway, I did try to entertain some of my friends then with some of the stuff I wrote.

I found this piece rather amusing for a lot of reasons. I wrote this when I was 16 as a four part story. I decided to type it out as a singular piece of work, with very few edits.

Look out for the immense use of intertextuality (Whoa I sound so intelligent). Actually, its about how free I am to try to weave in Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Matrix, The Mummy Returns, Warcraft, X-Men and many more.

Haha. It's brainless ok. Park your brains and read this one.


Rocktopia.

One thousand years ago, there was a kingdom rich and powerful.

Rocktopia.

It’s king, the great and wise Julius ruled the kingdom with a fair and just heart. The people loved him. Nature loved him. The lands were eternally fertile and no one was ever hungry.

But… where there is good, there is also evil.

One night, after years of hiding, the evil sorceror Blorgd, after mastering spells of great limit, came to the castle, infiltrated the palace, sneaked by the guards, and stole the sacred kingdom banner.

The banner that represented Rocktopia was perhaps the most powerful charm there was in Rocktopia, for it carried the inscription of signatures of all the past kings, and held magical powers. Once stolen, the kingdom would decay.

Worse more, Blorgd kidnapped the young princess, Lady Venus, from her room.

Julius, with his fading powers, sought the help of four loyal young men who were known to possess superhuman abilities to retrieve the banner and the princess from the castle of Blorgd. The four young men agreed to the challenge and set off for the distant darkness.

They journeyed to the outskirts of the kingdom, then rested in a tavern.

Albus Nighthawk, Anakin Bear, Neo Toady and Ardeth Gunga drank in the tavern.

“You guys betta drink all ya can. Beyon’ dis tavern, you ain’t gonna find any other shack all the way to the castle of Blorgd,” warned the friendly bartender.

“Thanks. We’ll be fine. We’re going off soon,” replied the ever cool Ardeth Gunga.

Suddenly, a group of ugly looking orcs crashed into the tavern, creating havoc and circling the four heroes. The orcs grunted her and there for quite a while before charging at the four of them.

Instantly, Nighthawk, whose skill is with the sword, slashes his way through the orcs, demonstrating swordfighting as an act of beauty. Anakin Bear morphed himself into a great big bear, thus matching the orcs blow for blow. Neo Toady, who is agile and fast, moves sleekly through the rampaging orcs, hitting their laughing nerves to make them laugh.

Still, the fight was even. Until Ardeth Gunga decided to join the fight by morphing into a big fat Gungan, and jumped on the orcs one after another. The orcs, knowing they were defeated, ran.

The four heroes chased after the orcs, knowing that the orcs will lead them to the castle.

*

“The orcs are fools, I know that. But they achieved their objective. Soon, when the four men come up the hills, they will find themselves in a dire situation. HAHAHAHAHA.” Blorgd laughed while looking into his crystal ball. He snapped his fingers, and suddenly, a large figure awoke from behind him.

“Go, Boomberry. Your supper has arrived,” ordered the dark sorcerer.

The large figure thumped its way to the large window and flew out.

Meanwhile, the four heroes, Anakin Bear, Ardeth Gunga, Neo Toady and Albus Nighthawk continued to jog up the hill. They could then see the castle. It was about 20 minutes away. Albus Nighthawk, with his heightened senses heard a scream from the Lady Venus. He gestured to his mates to hurry, but something is in their way.

A large red dragon with smoke coming out from his nose stood right in front of them. The dragon, Boomberry, started pouring fire at the heroes, forcing them to scatter.

Ardeth Gunga shouted, “Albus, go with Bear to the castle. We’ll distract the dragon here!”

So Nighthawk and Bear ran away towards the castle, escaping the fires of Boomberry and leaving their friends behind to deal with it. The soon arrived at the castle without any more obstacles, but at the gates of the castle of Blorgd, an evil more horrific than the red dragon stood there.

Lady Venus, in a black robe, stared at the two heroes with eyes showing evil. She waited a moment, then waved her hands, conjuring an army to rise from the ground. From the sand, came the great army of Anubis, the Egyptian god of the dead.

Trouble…

*

Ardeth Gunga and Neo Toady were having big problems, for they couldn’t find a way to beat Boomberry. The dragon kept spitting fire, and all they could do was dodge and run.

Then Toady came up with a grand idea.

Ardeth Gunga, holding his battle staff, sneaked round and started poking the dragon from below, giving Boomberry a tickling sensation. The dragon laughed and laughed till it could no longer remember to spit fire. Neo Toady then jumped at the chance to go on the offensive. He morphed into a little toad and jumped right into the throat of the dragon and filled it with his slimy saliva, using his long tongue to speed up the process. After ten minutes, the dragon choked to death.

*

Meanwhile, Albus Nighthawk and Anakin Bear, knowing they could not beat the grand army of Anubis, decided to escape. Nighthawk morphed into a, well, a hawk, and carried Bear away into safety.

Not.

*

Ardeth Gunga and Neo Toady soon arrived at the castle where they figured Nighthawk and Bear was, only to find themselves face to face with fifty thousand troops with bull heads. The army of Anubis and the evil Lady Venus.

Blorgd, furious that his read dragon died and that Bear and Nighthawk escaped, morphed himself into a gigantic green dragon and flies after Nighthawk and Bear. Blorgd carried the banner of Rocktopia in his claws as an assurance that even if he dies, Rocktopia would die with him.

*

Desperately thinking of a way to escape the wrath of Lady Venus, Ardeth Gunga used his skill and power of charm to quickly grab her and hypnotized her, making her lose control of the army of Anubis. Surprisingly, it worked and the evil troops disappeared into the sands again.

*

Albus Nighthawk made a desperate manuever and flew high above Blorgd, then dropped Bear, who on his way down morphed into the great big bear that he is. He landed right at the neck of Blorgd the green dragon, just at the spot where the dragon can’t reach. Blorgd turned around here and there, twirling in madness. His rage triggered volcanic activity around the region.

Soon they were fighting around exploding fires and red lava.

*

Ardeth Gunga and Neo Toady were relieved at how easy they defeated the army of Anubis, and just when they were about to take a five second break, the gates of the castle of Blorgd opened, and a legion of battle droids marched out and started firing their lasers at the two heroes.

They ran, and Albus Nighthawk, leaving Bear behind with Blorgd, arrived to take Lady Venus into the air, and dropped her into a nearby lake that was still unaffected by the volcanic activity. Soon she emerged from the lake, no longer hypnotized and evil.

*

The battle droids chased after Ardeth and Neo, but could not match their speed and agility. Soon, all three heroes arrive at where Bear was battling Blorgd the green dragon. Despite his best efforts, Anakin Bear could not find a weakness in Blorgd’s inpenetratable skin.

“Ah,” Neo mumurred, “but his butt is soft.”

So, Albus Nighthawk flied to the back of Blorgd and started pecking away at his butt. Screaming in pain, Blorgd dropped the banner. One would think that’s a good thing, only the banner was falling right into a river of lava, way out of reach of the remaining three heroes.

Rocktopia was to be doomed.

Only to have a flying pegasus slice through the skies and grab the banner. The pegasus landed right beside Ardeth Gunga and Neo Toady, morphing into Lady Venus.

Blorgd, screaming in pain with his injured butt, struggled his way right into a pit of lava and sunk so deep into it that even if his thick skin protected him from the sweltering heat, the soon hardened lava would fossilize him.

So the evil Blorgd was defeated. Just as Bear was about to fall into the pit with Blorgd, Albus Nighthawk took Bear in his claws and escaped the fate of Blorgd. Then they both landed by the other heroes, watching the volcanoes settle. Then the five of them returned to Rocktopia, with victory in their hands.

-The End-